26 days and counting

Yesterday I had my weekly appointment and all appears well. We spoke briefly about not performing a membrane swept at 38 weeks because of the complications that occured when the same procedure was performed when I was pregnant with Ally. We left it as something to be discussed at the time.

Today I had my ultrasound to confirm baby's movement to the head down position and to check my fluid levels. Ultrasounds make me uncomfortable and nervous, and to heighten my anxiety, the technician who conducting the exam is not a favourite. When I was pregnant with Ally, I had a similar ultrasound at this point in the game: it was quick and to the point. Today, the exam was drawn out. The technician must have taken measurements for nearly 20 minutes before she finally asked if I'd brought someone with me. As she went to fetch Cyballs from the waiting room, I told myself it's only my anxiety over ultrasounds causing my mind to spin with negative thoughts. But, when Cyballs walked into the room, I could read the worry in his face, he had been thinking the same thing: what was taking so long? The technician told us my fluid levels are normal and he has definitely turned. She also let us know his legnth and weight are on target for his gestational age, and that the radiologist would review the findings and have the results to my doctor within 24 hours. I'm spooked while Cyballs is optimistic.

Turns out the next evening I ended up in the hospital to monitor contractions. Dr. Findley's initial thought was that I was dehydrated, so she hooked me up to an IV in hopes of stopping the contractions; it didn't work, so she admitted me overnight incase this was the real deal. It wasn't and I was released. But, while we were there, Dr. Findley reviewed the ultrasound and confirmed all was well with our boy.

The Countdown's On

41 days. Craziness! I've graduated to weekly appointments, and will soon be having my Group B step test.

Baby Forell had decided he wants to be head up, so Cyballs (and Linda) have been performing Moxibustion treatments on me in hopes of encouraging him to move into position. We began last Wednesday, burning Moxa sticks held over the Zhiyi (BL67) point on my baby toes, for 15 minutes on each side; we did this for 6 consecutive days. Today at my maternity appointment, Dr. M. couldn't feel baby's head under my ribs, but he also couldn't feel it in my pelvis. He is fairly certain he's turned, with his head being so low in my pelvis, it's undetectable. To confirm his suspicions, Dr. M. ordered an ultrasound to take place in the very near future. Fingers crossed!

I'm still working (part-time) with no end date set, but I'm thinking I'll call it good in mid-May.

We have a lot of work to do on his nursery (umm basically everything, including laying carpet and putting in a ceiling).

Stats:

How far along: 34 weeks 1 day

Weight gain: I'm weighing in around 165-170lbs., so I've gained approx. 25-30lbs. Yikes.

Blood Pressure: Normal

Baby's Heartbeat: 143bpm
Maternity clothes: Yup.

Stretch marks: Hips. There's a lot of jiggle goin' on in my thighs and bum, but Cy assured me it was there when I was pregnant with Ally, and disappeared when I lost the baby weight. Fingers crossed I'm not too old or stretched out to bounce back this round.

Sleep: Still not sleeping

Morning sickness: Nope

Movement: There's days when he's more active than others.

Cravings: Today I really wanted some of my mom's potato salad. Sadly, she's in Italy.

Driving me crazy: Those damn veins in my lady parts, and not sleeping
Gender: Boy

Names we have in mind: Jackson (probably spelled Jaxon), Hudson, Tyler. I like Madden and Cyballs is all about Mason lately.
What I miss: Sleep and my Body Back body

What I'm looking forward to: Seeing his sweet face, of course. But, I'm also anxious to see what I have to work with (in regards to my body) when I've finished birthing my second child.

Sooner rather than later?

So I've graduated to every-two-weeks doctor appointments. It's hard to believe I'm already at that point! Baby is still breech, but he's lower and his heart rate has slowed (142bpm compared with 154-156bpm). Dr. M. thinks Baby will make his debut around 36-37 weeks. Yup, that's only 4 or 5 weeks away! We're not even close to being ready.

This past weekend, my dear friend Amanda threw me a beautiful "Perfect Gentleman" baby shower. The theme and details were perfect! Many thanks to my friends and family who were able to celebrate with us.

64 days

Oh, it's been so long since I've posted! I don't presume this blog is read by many, it's turned into a journal for Baby #2, but I've been terrible about keeping up.

Things are chugging along. I've managed to only have one cold since the flu that wiped me out for 8 days in the end of January. This is a huge accomplishment since I've been sick with either a cold or flu every 4 weeks, on average. Over Easter weekend, we had a 4D ultrasound. Baby Boy is breech so it was difficult to get glimpses of his face, but from what we did see, it looks as though he has the same lips as Ally. He enjoys sucking on his toes and putting his hands in his mouth. Last week my coworkers threw me a lovely shower, and I'm looking forward to celebrating Baby Boy Forell this Saturday with my American family and friends. We've begun working on Baby's nursery, but still have much to do! I had chosen a colour palette, but I think I've changed my mind. Finally, my doctor has me working only 3 days a week. This will be the first week with reduced days, so I'm hopeful the extra rest will help me feel more rested.

My stats:

How far along: 31 weeks

Weight gain: Not sure, I asked not to be told. Looking at pictures from my pregnancy with Ally, it looks as though the bump is about the same size.

Blood Pressure: Normal

Baby's Heartbeat: 156bpm
Maternity clothes: Yup, but, I wore a pair of pre-pregnancy skinny jeans the other day. They were a little big on me pre-baby, but I was happy I could slip them on, nonetheless.

Stretch marks: Hips. There's a lot of jiggle goin' on in my thighs and bum, but Cy assured me it was there when I was pregnant with Ally, and disappeared when I lost the baby weight. Fingers crossed I'm not too old to bounce back this round.

Sleep: My biggest struggle. I'm happy if I get 4-5 hours sleep a night. Yuck.

Morning sickness: Nope

Movement: Definitely. He's active in the evening, and I'm noticing him more and more during the night. There are days when his movements are big and strong, and other days when he's quiet, moving slowly and softly.

Cravings: Nothing.

Driving me crazy: Varicose veins, and without being too graphic, let's just say they're not in my legs. Not being able to sleep, as well.

Gender: Boy

Names we have in mind: Jackson (probably spelled Jaxon), Hudson, Tyler. I like Madden, but the hubs doesn't. I made an fairly lengthy list of names I liked, but now I have no idea where it is.
What I miss: Sleep.

What I'm looking forward to: Seeing his sweet face!

It's a...

I'm very behind on blogging about this pregnancy! I had my ultrasound at 21 weeks, and we're excited to announce we're having a BOY! We feel very blessed to be given a chance to experience parenthood with a daughter and son.

My stats:

How far along: 25 weeks

Weight gain: Not sure. I asked not to be told.
Blood Pressure: Normal

Baby's Heartbeat: 154 bpm (this was at 23 weeks 2 days)

Maternity clothes: Yes, but I can still fit into many of my regulars.

Stretch marks: A few on my hips. I just took out my belly button ring because it's beginning to stretch around there as well.

Sleep: It's hit and miss. We just returned from Hawaii where I was able to sleep through the night, and had loads of energy. The warmth and sunshine was just what I needed. Unfortunately, upon returning to the grey BC weather, sleep has become a luxury once more. Dr. M. and I discussed beginning to work part-time.

Morning sickness: My nausea has improved.

Movement: More and more everyday.

Cravings: Nothing. At times there's food items I feel like eating, but nothing consistent. Unlike my pregnancy with Ally, I don't have any severe aversions, but at times I can't stand eating cooked vegetables.

Driving me crazy: Varicose veins, and without being too graphic, let's just say they're not in my legs.

Gender: Boy

Names we have in mind: Jackson (probably spelled Jaxon), Hudson, Tyler
What I miss: Wine, energy, having a waist

What I'm looking forward to: Seeing his sweet face!

Half Way

Things are moving along. I should've had my 20 week ultrasound appt. by now, but because of the way my appt. intervals landed, it'll likely be booked tomorrow. As usual, I'm anxious. Dr. M. seems confused by this because after extensive testing and 3 ultrasounds, there's nothing to suggest any problems.

My stats:

How far along: 19 weeks 3 days

Weight gain: 4 pounds since last weigh-in
Blood Pressure: Normal

Baby's Heartbeat: 156 bpm

Maternity clothes: Yes, but I can still fit into many of my regulars.

Stretch marks: A few on my hips

Sleep: It's hit and miss. I'm SO tired during the day, and I try to resist the urge to nap when I get home from work so I can get to bed at a reasonable time. However, if I wake in the night, my bladder is ready to burst and my throat is dry. A trip to the bathroom means I'm not likely to fall back to sleep before I have to get up for work.

Morning sickness: My nausea has improved. In fact, I've noticed I typically feel sick when I get too few hours of sleep the night before.
Movement: More and more when I sit down at work, and at home in the evenings. Occasionally I can see the little kicks. I love this!

Cravings: Nothing. At times there's food items I feel like eating, but nothing consistent. Unlike my pregnancy with Ally, I don't have any severe aversions, but at times I can't stand eating cooked vegetables.

Driving me crazy: I'm so tired AND I don't have energy. Horrible.

We think it's...a boy

Names we have in mind: We haven't been discussing it much since we've yet to find out what we're having. We've also decided we're going have a list of names with us at the hospital, and will decide his/her name when we get a good look. Some names we've thrown around are: Boy - Jackson, Hudson, Max. Girl - Gracie, Harper, Piper, Gemma

What I miss: Energy and my fit self

What I'm looking forward to: Feeling well again and, of course, finding out what we're having.

As it turns out...

I'm pregnant. And, though it was planned, it was a surprise. Because of the emotional toll of our last pregnancy, and because of the type of infertility I'd been diagnosis with, we decided to pursue alternative methods in hopes of conceiving. We were hopeful, but doubt was certainly present. October 11th - the day my next cycle was to begin - rolled around, and nothing. October 12 - nothing. So, when I woke at 5am on Saturday the 13th, I secretly took a test. When I saw the double line, I broke into a sweat, and called for Cy. He obviously heard the waiver in my voice, because he came quickly, carrying Ally (who had been crying) in his arms. When I handed him the test, his response was, "What does this mean?" I thought to myself, it's 5 in the morning, does he really think I'm handing him a negative pregnancy test? Because I hadn't mentioned my period was late, he had no idea. We snapped some pics of Ally holding the test and asked her if she wanted to be a big sister (no, was her response).

Since that day, we've been for numerous blood tests and 3 ultrasounds. At one point while the doctor was performing a doppler, he couldn't find a heartbeat. He tried for 15 minutes with no luck. I was sent for an emergency ultrasound, and thankfully Baby's heartbeat was found immediately.

For the first time during this pregnancy here are my stats:

How far along: 14 weeks 2 days

Weight gain: In the last 3.5 months, I've gained 6 pounds. I'm now at the weight I was when I got pregnant with Ally and the twins.

Blood Pressure: "Perfect"

Baby's Heartbeat: 156 bpm

Maternity clothes: Most of my regulars still fit, with the exception of the new clothes I bought just prior to becoming pregnant. In fact, the regular clothes I wore before I was pregnant with Ally are still slightly big on me. I have been wearing maternity clothes because they better hide my little bump.

Stretch marks: Nope

Sleep: I sleep well, but wake in the middle of the night and often have difficulty falling back to sleep.

Morning sickness: I had a good 6 week of no energy and nausea. I had started to feel better, but again am feeling nauseous.

Movement: Feeling some faint flutters at night.

Cravings: Nothing.

Driving me crazy: Not being able to nap whenever I want

We think it's...a boy

Names we have in mind: Boy: Jackson, Hudson, Max  Girl: Gracie

What I miss: wine and wearing my size 4 clothes I had worked so hard to fit into after having Ally.

What I'm looking forward to: Feeling well again and, of course, finding out what we're having.

Rearing It's Ugly Head

It's been nearly a year since my last post, and yet it seems only yesterday. Life has been fantastically busy since Ally's birth, and with her arrival, the infertility demons, and events of my pregnancy had made their way to the back burner, until now...

This week will mark 5 cycles of trying for miracle number 2. For many, this would not be cause for concern, but sadly, after several months of charting, it's clear my luteal phase defect is worse than it has ever been. 7 days is not long enough, not even close. Most experts agree that a luteal phase less than 12 days does not give the uterus sufficient time to establish a nourishing lining for a growing fetus and therefore will cause a miscarriage if fertilization has occurred.


Before Ally was conceived, I was able to correct my LPD with the help of acupuncture and Traditional Chinese Medicine (LPD occurs in 3-4% of women with unexplained infertility), and yet, even with a luteal phase of 14 days, I was unable to conceive naturally. I'm desperate to be pregnant again, but I fear the road to that place may be long and trying.

Labour, Delivery and Beyond

She's here! We're very pleased to welcome our darling daughter, Ally Ray to the world. We're head-over-heals in love and are welcoming all the new changes to our lives.

On Sept. 1, 5 days before my due date, I visited with my OBGYN and was told I was 1cm dilated. Of course we knew not to get our hopes up, labour could still be days, maybe even weeks away. However, not long after we left Dr. H's office, I started to bleed (which he said might happen) and was exhausted, but at the same time, anxious to get out and do something. Here's a paragraph-long version of how the evening progressed.

I went into labour around 10:30 on Thursday night and Ally arrived about 11 hours later on September 2. Labour progressed quickly, and I arrived in the hospital at 3am and was 5cm dilated. At 6:30am I asked for an epidural, received it at 7:30, and by 8:00 I was an entirely different person. Just as we were beginning to relax, anticipating a mid-afternoon birth, Dr.A. announced that Ally was in distress and I was going to be prepped for an emergency C-section. The room flooded with the surgical team and the pediatric team, and I was given a spinal block. After the block was given, Dr.A. said she was going to have me push and she was going to use the vacuum. 12 pushes later, one of the nurses said, "Look up, you're baby's coming." As I lifted my head, Ally emerged into the world.

Unfortunately, she had to be taken from me immediately because she wasn't breathing. As it turns out, she had a velamentous insertion of her umbilical cord which caused her distress and in turn had her first bowel movement while still inside and ultimately swallowed meconium. Her Apgar scores were initially very low, but thankfully within 10 minutes she was finally placed on my chest.

Dr. A. was amazed at the fragile condition of her cord, and marvelled at how she managed to grow to a healthy size, let alone survive at all. Ally truly is a miracle.

Life since Ally's birth has been wonderful, but certainly not without its challenges. It's been a steep learning curve, but we're taking it in stride, and are feeling like we "get her" more and more each day. We are so incredibly deeply in love, and are thankful for each precious moment. All in all, the adjustment is not as difficult as I anticipated.

Thanks to everyone for their love and support. xo

Counting Down the DAYS

It's difficult to believe that labour and delivery is just around the corner. We've reached the final hurdle of this part of the journey, and yet, it hasn't hit home. More than anything, I'm apprehensive. Throughout this process, I've learned there are no guarantees - even at 39 weeks gestation - and you can bet I'll be holding my breath until she's safely in my arms.

Last week I had my final counseling appointment before I give birth. Jen and I discussed the importance of letting go of control, staying positive and having a plan should I be hit hard by postpartum depression. Because of my 20 year history with anxiety and depression, and the loss of our twins (which is becoming increasingly more difficult to handle), I'm more likely to be hit hard. When actively depressed, I can barely take care of myself, and my fear is that I won't be able to provide for my daughter should this happen. I've talked with my parents who (of course) are more than willing to help meet her needs if I'm struggling, and as soon as I work up the nerve, I will approach friends and other family members to see if they are willing to support me, Cy and our little love bug.

On another note, Dr. Hunt checked my cervix on the 23rd, and reported it to be approximately 2cm long and still pointed back. He accurately predicted she wouldn't be making her appearance that week, but was hopeful that he'd see a significant change at our Sept. 1 appointment. Dr. H. also predicted I'd put on some more weight near the end which has also happened - approximately 5lbs. Baby's heartbeat was 156bmp and my blood pressure was perfect, but I tested positive for Group B Streptococcus so avoiding an IV during labour is out of the question. All in all, I still feel great!